A Heartfelt Work of Staggering Genius.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 06:14:34 GMT

It doesn't matter how run down the carpet is from 6 dogs. It doesn't matter if, yeah, it kinda smells or that the tree -and decorations- is the same one we've used since I don't know when.

I love being home for Christmas.

I guess it's because I don't really live here anymore, that I cherish it even more the couple of days I get to come here and just feel like a kid again. Or if not a kid, then at least a somewhat irresponsible teenager at some times. Of course, each time I come back my brother is taller and his voice is deeper....But I think over the years (at least since college) my relationship with my dad has gotten better. And I understand my mom more...and like so many people dread I really do think we have a lot in common.

These next few days are going to be good ones. And I'll be sad to leave.

I hope anyone who stil reads this has a good Christmas. :)

Lost another one to their side.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:22:38 GMT

I just found out Jonathon Groff (Melchior, original Spring Awakening) is gay. :( I guess the musicals should have been a clue, but I feel like we lost a good one to the other team. Oh well.

In other music news, the Tegan and Sara album is out on Tuesday. I already preordered it, and have it basically on repeat on myspace. Go listen to 'The Ocean' dammit.

In real news, I've been pretty busy. I have a good group of friends here (shock!), and am usually out. On the other hand, whenever I've made a good friend here in TN, they seem to move away (3 so far in 6 months). So I'll give it a lil bit. They're all completely different, but I've always meshed with different people. I find it funny that usually my friends don't like each other, but I can get along just fine? It only makes me sad when I realize everyone can't hang out in a big group. :/

I have a lot of adult shit to do. Like paying off that parking ticket so I don't get arrested, getting a TN ID, paying bills. I got insurance now...or at least signed up for it. And then my crown came off at work and I had to perform minor dental surgery in the bathroom. Guess who still can't afford to go to the dentist? You guessed it.

But my laptop works again, and I've slipped into my old sleeping habits. Some things never change.

Still alive.

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:35:03 GMT

So things were going relatively well until this week. I was savin' money, looking for an apt, makin' friends, lookin' forward to DC in 3 days.

In the past few days I've

-ran out of gas
-had shitty days at work
-got bitched at by my mom
-had to give her several hundred dollars instead of her giving me some money for my birthday

Therefore it'll probably be a lil while longer before I can stop imposing on Amber and Toby. I just hate the idea I'm puttin someone out, you know? I hate this adult thing.

Fantastic.

My weekend

Mon, 18 May 2009 17:48:07 GMT

Consisted of...

Friday: Rock band

Saturday: First day of work. Copius amounts of alcohol. Smoking. Dancing. Touching.

Sunday: Vomiting.Feeling like shit. Working.

Wekome to Nashville.

Growing up.

Tue, 05 May 2009 06:49:33 GMT

In one week, I'm making my first big solo move. I say solo because when I came down to Southeaster, I had Diana and Matt with me. Even though that didn't last long, there were people coming with me from my hometown.

I'm leaving Lakeland Sunday night/Monday morning, going home to visit with the 'rents, unload some crap, and then it's off to Nashville! Thank God for friends who let you crash at their place until you can get on your feet. If Hoggies did nothing else for me, it gave me that :P I also found out today I have a full time job waiting for me as a photo tech at a Walgreens in Hermitage the first Saturday after I move. It's not anything with psych, but hell, it's a job. I'll worry about the details later.

So pumped.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:56:28 GMT

I like

Amaretto and cokes
Staying up late
Discovering its raining outside
Finding a good book

Little things keep you going.

So jealous.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:33:32 GMT

I've graduated college. But this promises to be one of the best spring breaks ever. Let me share:

-Pam and Danyale left tonight for Greece. None of them for over a week.
-CHRISTEN is coming into town on Sunday! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee.
-Drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. All week.
-Brandon Telg visiting on Monday. Sand dunes? Chilling out.
-Sushi.
-Pie.
-Sweeney Todd.
-Smoking cigars to keep Christen company.
-Alcoholic milkshakes.
-Gingerbread apt complexes. Yes.
-Tarlo and Tumor.
-Tegan and Sara
-Shot glass chess/checkers.
-Drinking sweet tea. SUCK IT UP CHRISTEN YOU LOST.

And so much more. But that's all I can put, because otherwise you would implode of the awesomeness.

Electrical God.

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 06:41:47 GMT

So, my oh-so-adorable puppy, Baxter decided when I was in the shower that he needed something to entertain himself.

This, apparently, meant chewing through my laptop's power cord.....Twice.

Needless to say, I wasn't happy. The next day or so I went to go buy a new one, figuring that they were about $25-30 tops. No. Try $80 and up. For a charger. What the heeeell? Called my dad, since he's a comp guy, and he said he'd find a spare and send it down, because, contrary to popular belief, I can't waste that much money on something so....not vital to life - despite my daily activities. That came in the mail today, but guess what?

It's was too big. (That's what she said.)

Long story short, I ended up going to Home Depot (and stopped at barnes and noble for the hell of it), got some stuff, came back home. And spliced my old charger back together.

I am amazing.

Uncut and uncensored

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:09:27 GMT

I should be sleeping. But we all know how well I do things good for me.

There's a thing floating around facebook. You write 25 things about yourself, anything. Here is my uncensored version, because out of MySpace/Facebook/LJ, this is the place I'll get the least flack about it? Is that sad? Yes. Yes it is. Here we go, biiiiitches.

One) I don't have very strong opinions. I don't know if it's because I'm so open minded - I'm much more interested in everyone else's thoughts/opinions - or because I'm afraid offending someone.

Two) I think I'm the happiest when I'm singing at the top of my lungs in my car by myself, or reading a good book.

Three) I want to do everything in life - and yet I'm scared to make the first step towards something tangible.

Four) I love the getting to know someone phase the most in a friendship. And how, even after knowing someone for a long time, you can find something new out about them.

Five) I don't know who my biological father is, and had to wait 17 yrs to find out my mom didn't really know either. So now I never will.

Six) When I was in high school, I was a hardcore Christian. But now I can't help thinking how everyone's got a certain belief, and there's no way we can tell for sure who, if anyone, is right until we die. Who's to say there won't be someone studying our culture 1000 years from now, dissecting our culture and religion like we do? And yet, I can't shake the feeling there really is a God and I'm failing him.

Seven) The first time it starts snowing around me, I'm going to run outside and lay on the ground and start making snow angels. I don't care if there's not enough snow, or if it's the wrong kind.

Eight) I've always had the nagging feeling I'd get in/die in a car accident. I haven't ever been in one. And yet, if I'm a passenger, I don't always buckle up.

Nine) I don't sleep much at night because I'm too worried about my future/finances.

Ten) If no one was around and I had nothing to do/a dog to take care, I prolly wouldn't wake up.
My dreams are like movies. With a conflict, characters. If i wake up, I'll go back to sleep and jump right back in it.

Eleven) I love asking questions, listening to people. I actively pursue getting to know my friends. And yet, I am secretly dying for someone to treat me like that and show interest in my life besides the usual questions.

Twelve) After getting out of the shower, I call out to make sure my roomates aren't there. And then I totally walk around naked.

Thirteen) I wish everyone could work in retail to see just how much of an ass they're being.

Fourteen) I developed my horrible mouth at a Christian college.

Fifteen) I've recently started the bad habit of chewing on my lip. And it's chapping the hell out of them, so I need to stop.

Sixteen) I'm not really sure if I'll ever find someone to date/marry. And that, consequently, I'll settle for less.

Seventeen) Sometimes I just want to booty dance ridiculously.

Eighteen) I love writing. I've always had tons of ideas for stories, and actually would start them as a kid. But I always lose interest and don't finish. So I'll just stick to reading.

Nineteen) I want to try bartending? But I'm not a fan of huge crowds yelling at me for a drink.

Twenty) I miss the intellectual stimulation of college.

Twenty-One) It's hard for me to say no. So sometimes I'll flake out the day of and say I got called in to work.

Twenty-Two) I tend to hold a grudge. I can't stand people who say one thing, and then do another. The same goes for talking shit about someone, and then continue to act like they're best friend. You either this or that. No inbetween.

Twenty-Three) Some of my best friends are ones I've found online. It's very surprising.

Twenty-Four) I sincerely hope I get more chances to travel.

Twenty-Five) Whenever I see a hot guy at work, I always check his ring finger. The nicest ones are always married :p Fuck.

Winter.

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 08:06:10 GMT

I really do feel like I miss out on some sort of magical moments in winter because it doesn't snow here.

But we have an effing freeze warning?

That's like saying you're going to give me alcohol, but no wait. It's O'Douls. Who the hell drinks non-alcoholic beer? The only reason I can understand the drinking of beer is you can get drunk enough after a while to not care your drinking vomit water.

At least I don't have to shovel shit.

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 09:59:14 GMT

Dear esteemed coworker,

I just want to share my admiration at how you have been here for almost a year and 1) still don't know what the hell you're doing and 2) are getting more hours than me. You've obviously stumbled upon some secret (blackmail? tight with the boss? some distant family member?) so that you don't need to do shit on your shifts and leave it for someone else. Something need straightening? Oh, let me get that for you. Trash? Don't trouble yourself. Please. Also, thank you. Because of you, I am considering taking up smoking. Maybe then I can take a millionbajillion breaks, despite the fact no one else does, except you.

Teach me your ways. This "hard work, good job" thing is not hacking it.

Sincerely,
Me.

PS - No, I can't/won't/don't want to give you a ride home.

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:29:50 GMT

Just a quick run through of Christmas, I'll come back and edit later.

4 DVDs
-Hancock, Ironman, Batman, Juno
2 Cookbooks
1 Bartender's Guide :D:D:D:D
1 GPS navigational system for my car :D
1 Tacky Christmas shirt
Wireless for my laptop, finally.

My mom also gave me her old tea maker, since she got a new. Then I went and saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button with Kolbs. GOOOOD movie, if just a tad bit long.

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:12:11 GMT

I'm drinking.

Christen made me do it.

It's Thanksgiving week and everyone's left me. I drove Mel to the airport (Tampa, not Orlando, which was fine execpt for the hellish traffic.) Karen and Danyale left with Brandon for NYC. And in the process left the kitchen an effing mess for me to clean. So what did I do. Bought stuff for milkshakes!!

And at Christen's insistence, added vanilla vodka and kahlua to that mix. Can't say I regret it either.

I can't wait to get out of here.

Did I mention I'm working 9-6 Thanksgiving day? Be a saint. Don't go to your local Walgreens.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 03:30:06 GMT

I'm just kind of over life.

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:21:15 GMT

Things I've done recently in no particular order of importance or time:

-Slept in.
-MAde my own pizza, basically from scratch.
-Looked for a message from a certain someone on MySpace.
-Smoked a cigar and had a beer.
-Stalked someone on facebook.
-Got excited, again, over NYC, seeing Mel, Vic, and Lex...and turning 21.
-Looked for a house to rent in a month.
-Saw six new born puppies.
-Remembered I don't like beer, nor do I think I ever will.
-Had a good night with friends.
-Roadtripped home.

Also, it annoys me when my roomate insists on sleeping on the couch, because she's too effing lazy to clean off her bed. And she sleeps with the covers over her head, prompting the strange urge to smother her...if only to teach her a lesson that blankets do not belong over the head when sleeping.

Extra points if you can put all those things in chronilogical order.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:10:45 GMT

Who knows what's gonna happen.

But I'm going to enjoy the thought of it while I can.

Moral of the story?

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:15:37 GMT

So, yesterday I was supposed to go into work at 3 pm. I decided to take a lil bit of a nap beforehand, since its been hard to go to bed lately (lately?)....I woke up around 2:45, cause I live right next to Walgreens. I get ready, make sure I have my keys, my phone. Well, right before I leave to walk out the door, I get a phone call. I answer, chat...walk out...lock the door.

And I'd forgotten my keys.

I ended up having to walk to work. Thankfully Kaleigh got me so I could get my keys/car - because apparently she isn't going to be home til Sunday. I would have been totally screwed. :P

Moral of the story? Don't call me before work. I will fail at life if you do.

In Today's News:

I finished my last undergraduate class. It's a good feeling to be COMPLETELY done.

L is for Life?

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 07:03:30 GMT

Hey kids.

Cut because I ramble too much.

I keep meaning to update this with some sort of fantastic post-college you-are-an-adult now the-world-is-yours post, full of plans and hopes and dreams.

But I don't. Because I get bored with the idea, or more likely, cause right now I don't feel like that at all.

Recap on the past few weeks:

I graduated about a month ago. Took my 2 field exp classes, am now working on the LAST one (liberal arts math II - which I'm acing, btw). That'll be over with June 13th. And, the grand question I keep asking myself is: What then? What the hell do I want to do with my life?

Well, I have (will have?) a bachelor's in psychology. Yeah I know, ha ha, what the hell can you do with that? Well, other than it being somewhat applicable to practically any field (people are everywhere!), there's also counseling and stuff. Now, here I'm divided. And I can't tell if its cause I'm scared of something new and messing up, or if it's just cause I'm misguided and looking towards something I really shouldn't do/wouldn't be good at. I want to help people (but then, after a shift at Walgreens, I've cursed every demographic living). That's the common thread in all the majors I've declared - biology (I think everyone consders being a doctor at one time. Especially with Grey's Anatomy), church ministry, psychology. But why? People are so effing messed up sometimes, and then you have to go through the fear of them falling back, suicide, saying the wrong thing...basically just screwing up the person even more than they were to begin with.

I've looked at jobs, somewhat. I was offered one back home doing an e-commerce consulting thing. But I don't want to live back in Crestview. There's nothing for me there, and after briefly talking to an old friend, I was right. Everyone who's not doing the church thang is getting high or arrested or having serious mental problems. Unless you went to OWC in which case you don't even live there anymore or you're Amy and pregnant (whom I love, but things change when you're married with kids).

So I decided to stay down here in Lakeland. It's halfway in between Tampa and Orlando, so prime location. When school's in session, I have tons of friends. So what the hell is wrong? Well, right now, it's the summer. And I'm so freaking lonely. I sleep, I work, I go online. In between there, sometimes, I go out with Ben and McKel, or catch a movie with Kaleigh. And, when I have a day off, I go to Barnes and Noble to read and just be out in public. I keep hoping maybe I'll make a friend or, even better, a cute guy, but no such luck. Here I am, finding myself growing annoyingly more clingy to the friends I have online because there's no one else, but even there, I get nothing. I'm only really acknowledged when people need advice, or bored...or drunk (which is amazingly hilarious, don't get me wrong)...but besides that? Nothin. I need a friggin' bone people.

I'm thinking about upping the leaving date for Walgreens. I'm tempted to quit once my class is over, but that'd be dumb considering I have a birthday trip that I need off for...and should I find a job before then, it'd be kinda crappy of me to leave so soon. But after that? Why should I wait for everyone to come back to me in the Fall? Maybe cause I'm scared of new things, yes...but that's what I need right now, I think.

Something new. Something exciting. Something fulfilling.

So if you know what that is, let me know.

Until then.

Adventures in Adulthood

Sun, 25 May 2008 17:07:25 GMT

So, I just checked my bank account and I have exactly enough money to make my car payment and give Kaleigh my half of next month's rent.

Welp, so much for eating. I guess it time I went and donated plasma again.

Graduation and house cleaning.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:51:45 GMT

Well, it's done. I graduated. Walked across the stage. Got a tassle. All those great things that come with pomp and circumstance. Ha, I almost wrote poop. (Yes, I laughed at that....) This week has been super nice, not having to worry about classes or exams and crap like that. I pulled 2 all-nighters in a row before I finished my exams/projects, so I'm content to laze about. My mom and brother came down. We went to Disney (FO FREE), got to the front of every line. We went goofy golfing. Fun stuff. I'm going to try to visit in June when things get settled and finished up here. My mom's having a hard time with the fact I'm basically never going to live at home again.

It still feels surreal. Like, now I could go do ANYTHING. And I have no idea where to start. Well, here's what I got so far.

Plans for end of this week:

-Pack.
-Change addresses to apt.
-Finish powerpoint.
-Say goodbye to everyone.

Summer plans:

-Living with Kaleigh...
-Working.
-Finishing summer classes. This will be done by June. I got to walk but still need to do these to get DA PAPA (read: degree)
-Getting another job? Mo' money, mo' money.
-NYC!!!! :D :D Plans: Spring Awakening, Maybe Ave Q (depending on ticket prices), Stomp. Drinking - clubs, bars. Sightseeing.
-Road trip to TN (this is in September, but still sorta summerish). Morgan's wedding, but more importantly: chillin' with Amber and Christen (if she's still there).

From there I need to decide my Life Plans. But I'm giving myself the summer off from that stuff. Last summer before I accept Adulthood.

I'm going to take my time.

...and right now I'm going to go get my laundry and play the sims.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:26:50 GMT

11 days.

Eleven days.

Once dias.

Holy freaking crap.

Toys R Us kid? I think not.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:11:49 GMT

I've been so busy.

You know, you think it's exageration when people in their last year of college go all crazy with school and plans after college. Or maybe you didn't. I did. I still procrastinate, but now there's only a month left between me and graduation, and it's like wading through wet cement. There's so much stuff that still needs to be done/taken care of. Paying off the rest of the semester, paying off summer school, finding insurance for my new car (ps, I got a car. Finally.), finding a place to live for the summer (and if I'll need to get storage for some of my stuff). And then Social Psych decides to be a pain. Yeah, so I don't go to class.....but now it's coming to back to bite me and jepordize EVERYTHING.

Mother-effer.

Because of my absences, I may fail a class (sound familar, Mary?). Nevermind that I have never had any problem academically the whole time I've been at Southeastern, or any other college. But if one teacher decides to be self-righteous (so what if she's slightly in her rights? I'm trying to graduate!) and fail me, I'm screwed. So I'm going to go throw myself on her mercy tomorrow or so and see if I can scrape by with a C. I don't even care about grades anymore. I just want out. Out of school. This school. Now. I've been doing college since 10th grade and am more than ready for a change of pace.

"So, what are ya going to do after you graduate."

"Get wasted and have lots of kids."

No, I don't say that. But I'd almost do it just see the reaction of those who seem interested in my education only when it involves their church. But for real, what the heck should I do after I leave the academic world? Mind you, I plan on going to get my Master's, but this next year? This is mine to do what I will. Here's what I've broken it down to so far:

Summer

Living situation: For May, with Pam, at least. This may carry over into June/July, or I might move in with McKel and Teresa, depending on whatever's cheaper.
Job-wise:. I'm looking to quit Walgreens end of April to get a job that will give me better hours and more pay. I'm looking around and have a couple of places in mind that I'm going to apply for. We'll see what happens.
Birthday wise: House part. With whoever's around. This will probably include Ben, Josh, McKel, T, Maggie (if I'm living at Pam's), and anyone else I can drag out of their hiding places. Telg might come down. THEN, most importantly out of this WHOLE POST: Going to NYC with Leeeeeeeeeeeex to see Broadway shows, drink, and much merriment.

Fall

Here's where things get tricky. I have several options. One: move into an apartment with Karen and Pam, working, and general socializing with those who are still trapped at SEU. Morgan's wedding is in September, and I'm taking a road trip up there for that, but that's the only set thing on the agenda. Option Two is, after Morgan's wedding, going to work as an Outdoor Youth Counselor with Eckerd Youth Alternatives. Basically going camping with kids who need help. If I'm serious about this whole Psych Bachelor's thing, I need to get a job I'm interested about in this field. Otherwise, tolerate the lifetime snickering whenever I tell them my major. :p

Question, and I want honest opinions about this. Do you think I would be good (read: competent) working with at-risk kids/teens (10-17)? My biggest fear, when all is said is done, is that I'll have this fancy degree and still have no clue what to do in helping people. Whether it's knowing when to talk - and then what to say - or listen, and accepting that I can't fix someone....I just have this nagging feeling I'm going to mess it (someone) up. Maybe the whole idea is a little too naive/idealistic? Could I ever have the patience or maturity for that kinda thing? I just want to know what it is I'm supposed to be doing in this freaking world, but everytime I get ready to commit to a job (or the idea of one, like now), I get insecure and full of doubt. Yes, it's normal, yada yada yada.... That doesn't stop it from being damn scary.

Who knows, maybe I'll end up as a manager in some office, 9-5, nothing at all related to my major or what I'm doing now, working to support my 2.5 kids.

Eh.

En mi pantalones!

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:22:17 GMT

1. Put your music player on "random." Skip songs with not-very interesting titles (such as "Concerto #4 in E minor")
2. List the titles of the first 25 songs to come up.
3. Put "in my pants" after each title.
4. Bold the ones that actually made you laugh.

1) Nickel Creek - Hanging by a Thread In My Pants
2) Taylor Swift - Our Song In My Pants
3) Elijah Kelley - Run and Tell That In My Pants
4) Spill Canvas - Low Fidelity In My Pants
5) Santana ft. Chad Kroeger - Into the Night In My Pants
6) Wicked - Thank Goodness In My Pants
7) Damoin Suomi - Darwin, Jesus, The Devil, and Me In My Pants
8) Tegan and Sara - I Know I Know I Know In My Pants
9) Damoin Suomi - Won't You Please In My Pants
10) Fall Out Boy - I'm Like a Lawyer How I'm Always Trying to Get You Off In My Pants
11) Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You In My Pants
12) Eddie Vedder - Rise In My Pants
13) Maroon 5 - Goodnight Goodnight In My Pants
14) Pink - U and Ur Hand In My Pants
15) Maroon 5 - Back at Your Door In My Pants
16) Arctic Monkeys - Cigarette Smoke In My Pants
17) Rihanna - Umbrella In My Pants
18) Taking Back Sunday - You're So Last Summer In My Pants
19) Nickel Creak - Speak In My Pants
20) Fall Out Boy - The Pros and Cons of Breathing In My Pants
21) Plain White T's - Hate (I Really Don't Like You) In My Pants
22) T'Pain - Buy U A Drank In My Pants
23) Ingrid Michaelson - Highway In My Pants
24) Spill Canvas - One Thing Is For Sure In My Pants
25) Maroon 5 - Can't Stop In My Pants

Places to go, people to see.

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:35:31 GMT

Hey kids.

I figured I've dropped off the earth for a bit. So here's some updates for all you crazies.

2 Days From Now: Goin' to Jamaica with fx for Spring Break. Hollaaaaa.
2 Months From Now: Graduatin' wif my BS in Psychology. Haha. BS. Bull...
--However, I'll still hve 5 credits to finish in the summer. But that's just Retarded Math and Field Exp. Yes. Retarded Math. Since it didn't transfer.
5 Months From Now: BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. 21. House party, then hittin' up New York. Fo realz.

Lovin' life. Now I just need to go finish up some hw before Spring Break. Wish me luck.

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:43:40 GMT

7:00 am - Wake up.
7:35 am - Psych of Adjustment - quiz.
9 - 10:30 am - Finishing Experimental Psych paper.
10:35 am - Exp Psych
12:00 pm - Faith Integration Seminar
1:15 pm - Lunch
1:45 pm - Laundry/Work out?
2:30 pm - Shower
3:00 pm - Psychotherapy homework
4:30ish pm - Dinner
5:00 pm - Be in Bolin Studio.

7:00 pm - House opens.

7:30 pm - Showtime. For the last time.